My husband and I have been married for five years. During that time, a battalion of well-off relatives – from my parents and aunts and uncles – tried to convince us to have children. Despite these persistent requests, we are not convinced. The world feels so chaotic and we’re not sure if we want to subject a child to it.
Increasingly, other American adults are making the same choice. As of 2018, 16.5 percent of adults are 55 and older Had no children in the United States. According to a Pew Research Center study released in July, the number of U.S. adults under 50 who do not have children and say They are unlikely to have them Increase from 37 percent in 2018 to 47 percent in 2023 top reason This is cited by the group that they just don’t want.
Chances are, well-meaning people (like my parents) have asked child-free adults at some point: “You may be anxious now, but what about when you’re old?”
Does having no children put us at a disadvantage? D Pew Survey It also found that one in four adults aged 50 and over without children often worry about who will take care of them as they age, and one in three worry about having enough money.
Undoubtedly, children can provide peace of mind, a person to help you face the reality of aging. But the truth is, “Even if a man has a child, he is a child Don’t always be safety net that one can think of,” said Kate Granigan, its chief executive officer Lifecare Advocates and president Aging Life Care Board of the Association.
Seniors can live prosperous lives without children, experts say, but they must be prepared to rely on other people, plan financially for the future and use support services. Currently, the The majority of older adults Without involved partners or children are not adequately prepared for their future care and end-of-life care, according to AARP. This needs to change. “Being able to have some foresight … and [knowing] Knowing how to prepare in the best way possible can really help people thrive and age,” says Granigan.
Make sure you have people who will look out for you
Many adult children tend to be the ones who watch over their parents and coordinate the help needed. You want to find people to fill these roles, said Beth went onis a Seattle-based geriatric social worker. Make friends with the communities you’re in and invest in the relationships in your life, he advises Stacey Razoris a Gyropsychologist in Los Angeles, California.
These people may not care about you at all, but they can watch your back. “You can have a friend or coworker or someone you’re close with who is in the same position as you … and you can form a group that checks in with each other,” Granigan says.
Not only are these relationships fulfilling, they also mean you have someone to call for ad hoc assistance, such as a trip back from the supermarket if you have particularly heavy shopping or a lift to the emergency room.
As you make new connections, open up to multi-generational friendships. If everyone in your life is your age and people start getting sick around the same time, it’s hard for them to get help when you need it, Egan explains.
When planning where you will retire, Egan and Granigan also “the village“And signing up for it. The Villages are nonprofit organizations across the country that connect seniors with others in the neighborhood to create a community that looks out for each other. If you need a ride, help with chores, or participate in social activities. The village will coordinate the annual membership Fees can be up to $1,000But a growing number of villages are introducing a “pay-as-you-can” model and subsidizing fees for those who can’t afford it.
Get your money to pay for support
J. ZygmontA certified financial planner for child-free adults, advises clients in their mid-40s to purchase long-term care insurance. In general, Long-term care insurance covers You may need non-medical assistance to perform activities of daily living such as eating, bathing, walking, and taking medications. Pay for it cost In-home caregivers, adult day care, transportation, and senior living, eg Nursing homes and assisted living facilities.
More than half of US adults are 65 years old As you get older, you’re expected to need some kind of long-term services and support, and many people don’t know that Medicare, the government health program for seniors, does not cover This support. The earlier you buy a long-term care policy, the better the price and the less likely you are to become one. Conditions which are ineligible From coverage to you, said Zigmont. It’s expensive to pay for it upfront, but the price is off, he says. Alternatively, you can pay for it annually. If you miss a payment, the policy will be canceled and you will not get a comparable policy again.
If you don’t purchase insurance, you’ll likely pay for long-term care out of pocket, says Zygmont, author of the upcoming book The Childfree Guide to Life and Money. Medicaid, a government health program for low-income people, Care cover only Once you’ve burned through your resources.
If you’re paying out of pocket, remember that long-term care costs can add up quickly: for example, a private room in a nursing home can cost around $115,000 a year And grows about 5 percent each year, Zygmont said. Do what you need to do to start saving and investing your money now so that it “grows at least 5 percent each year to cover your long-term care costs” and any upcoming taxes, Zygmont says.
Get excited about your senior year
Remind yourself that your senior years can be absolutely fulfilling, he says Anna Chodosis a gerontologist at the UCSF Department of Medicine. So, start dreaming.
Create a mental image of your future self, Chodos and suggestions Aja Evansis a financial therapist and author in New York City Feel-good finance. “Who and where do you want to grow up? What do you want your lifestyle to be? What is really important to you as you grow older?” Evans poses a few questions to his clients. He finds that this practice can make saving money for the future feel more necessary and purposeful.
As you approach your senior years, think about things you enjoy doing that also give you purpose — “something meaningful that gives you a reason to get up every day,” Chodos says. Learn an instrument, write stories, volunteer as a museum guide. Add activities that regularly meet people, such as a dinner party club, board games night, or walking group, to increase camaraderie.
Be intentional about where you retire
When you’re a senior without kids, you’re either on your own or inside one of many kinds Senior living arrangements. In an assisted living or nursing home, you often get most of the help you need to live your daily life. When you live in your own place or in an independent-living community, you can hire support services to help with meal preparation, bathing, medication management, house change (if the accommodation allows it), and more, says Eigen. Long-term care insurance The cost of these services may be covered depending on the policy
Granigan says it’s essential to find out how accessible these support services are in the area you want to retire and their associated costs. To get this information, consult local Area Agency on Aging (Use this Eldercare Locator database to find one), a local Aging life care professionalor local “The village.”
Also consider the social networking opportunities that will be available to you and how easy it will be to participate in fun, meaningful activities. Are they easily accessible on foot if you can no longer drive? What about public transit, supermarkets, banks, gyms, parks, libraries, faith-based communities, malls, senior centers and eateries?
Prioritize your health
For adults whose children aren’t entering their golden years, it’s especially important to take care of your physical and mental health, as well as focus on keeping your cognitive abilities sharp, so you can remain independent as long as possible.
Stay on top of exercise, and do your best to maintain your bone health, balance, muscle mass, strength, and mobility, advise Chodos and Granigan. Control risk factors like diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol, Watch your alcohol intakeAnd keep up with medical visits. If you’re otherwise healthy, see your primary care physician to screen for your chronic conditions every year once you turn 60, Chodos says.
You might also consider delegating your medical care to providers who are younger than you, Reger says, because they’re more likely to be able to see your care through eventually.
As for exercising the mind, crossword puzzles and Sudoku are all fine and good, but they’re not the most effective at helping protect your brain function, Reger says. Instead, he says to focus on “engag.”[ing] Activities that keep you interested and thinking … something where you’re still using the parts of your brain that are active in problem solving and thinking creatively.”
“If there’s a social aspect to what you’re doing, it’s really good because socializing with other people naturally stimulates our brains,” he emphasized. “We have to engage, process, and be mentally flexible to have a simple conversation … talking to new people, preaching, explaining ideas, that kind of mental activity is good for our brains.”
“Hearing is very powerful Risk factors for cognitive decline,” adds Chodos, so any changes in your hearing need to be corrected, stat.
Gather a team to help you navigate the aging journey
Eagen and Granigan say another option is to assemble a team of professionals who can guide you through most of the processes described above, from financial management to engaging support services. The team may include a Senior Law Attorney, Aging life care professionalGeriatric social workers, primary care doctors and/or geriatricians, and a financial planner who specializes in child-free populations. These professionals are all experienced in guiding you away from common problems.
Set up advance directives
With an elder law attorney, spell out what you envision for your assets, medical care and end of life in legal documents like advance directives and wills. As part of this, you must nominate people who will make decisions for you if you become incapacitated.
Your senior years can and should be an exciting new phase of your life, whether you have children or not. With a little foresight and thoughtful planning, they can be as fulfilling as you’ve always hoped.
